Sunday after church my wife and I had the chance to meet a new couple over brunch. This past summer we were grouped with this couple and another one with the intention of getting together for a meal and conversation to build relationships. Our summer schedules never permitted us to get together. I must admit that this sort of thing is something the church does right, if not always well. Giving fellow Christ followers a chance to meet each other and develop relationships. The church does provide structure that is helpful, especially for new people like us, in meeting others. Often, however, the relationships never get very deep. I suppose this is just human nature but there may be something else.
Sunday our conversation got into some pretty personal topics. Personal enough that it's not appropriate to share any of it here. One point that became clear, though, is that, for all our years in the church between all of us at the table, this kind of frank and open conversation was unusual. Someone even admitted that what was shared had been held back at other such get togethers sponsored by the church. There was fear of being judged or ostracized.
It's sad that the prevailing wisdom, when it comes to church gatherings, small or large, is that you need to protect yourself. At church you may run the risk of being singled out if you admit your struggles and shortcomings in any specific way. Most who attend church admit to being sinners, but anything beyond this generic confession is difficult for most of us. Why is this so true? There are certainly stories we can tell where this isn't true, but they are the exception to the rule. Maybe it's just human nature to protect ourselves from what others may think. Maybe church is no different from any other social setting where people are cautious about revealing their struggles and pain. But, and here's my point, is that the way it should be or should the church be actively working to be different?
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