On Being Human

Last week I had the chance to attend the Masters Tournament in Augusta, Georgia. For those who don't know, it's a golf thing. It was due to the very gracious gift of a friend that I was able to be there as it's not something I could ever afford on my own. It was about the best vacation I've ever had. It didn't beat some of the vacations I've had with my family, but as a strictly personal good time I can't remember a better one in my adulthood. Since most of my adulthood was spent working in the church I'm wondering if that had anything to do with it.

Anyway, part of the joy of the week for me was just being around other people and not having any sense of being responsible. By that I mean it wasn't up to me to see that anyone behaved, or had a good time, or stayed with the group...or anything. I was finally able to let go of my need to see that everything went well and everyone got along. I had a good time and I think everyone else did, too. But if they didn't that's not my concern. So, what does this have to do with being human?

One of the people in the group I was with is a pastor of a fairly large and successful church. I'd not met him before and we spent very, very little time talking about church or religion or God stuff. He and I took turns praying at a couple of the meals but that was about the extent of anything that might have looked pastoral. We were just two of the guys in the group having a great time at the Masters. A couple of times I found myself wondering what the members of his church would think if they saw him enjoying himself at the Masters. Now, I'm not implying in any way that he did anything immoral at all. He was just a guy hanging out with friends at a golf tournament. The fact that it occurred to me at all is a reminder of what it's like to be in leadership in a church. Very often pastors are not allowed to be human. An off color joke or enjoying a sophomoric movie or having a drink with friends are all little human pleasures that many pastors deny themselves, at least in public, for fear they might be "found out" by members of their church.

I see this as just one more symptom of what's wrong with the church. So many people come into a church building thinking they need to hide the reality of their lives from those sitting around them. They can't be real in church because they might be rejected. This is a legitimate fear because the church has a track record of villifying folks who dare to honestly share their struggles, shortcomings and basic humanity. Often the pastor is held high above everyone else as the person closest to God in behavior, demeanor and lifestyle. This is a burden no real human being should have to carry. It's a burden other human beings should never put on another person. Many pastors will tell you what an irritation it is when someone who's told an off color joke or used foul language around them then turns around and apologizes as if their tender ears can't bear such offense. People are different around those who work in the church and, frankly, it pisses off a lot of us.

Maybe the church would once again become attractive if everyone was allowed to be human. If we could all loosen up a little and enjoy one anothers company without having to monitor, evaluate, critique and control the church would become a place people want to be because they can be real. Maybe this starts by letting pastors be human.