My parents divorced before I was four years old. My mom remarried quickly and an agreement was made that my father would stay away for reasons I still don't fully understand. However, it set up a situation that kept me from ever meeting my real father until I was twenty years old. This post isn't about how all that came about but it is about what happened when I met my father.
He gave me a car.
He was a car dealer and had always dreamed of giving his children new cars when they turned 16. But because he had agreed to stay away and have no contact he didn't get that chance. So when the rules changed and he and I met he wanted to do something really nice for me. So he gave me a bright red 1972 Dodge Charger Special Edition. And it was sweet.
Inadvertently, however, he gave me something else with that car. He gave me a sense that I was owed something. Whether it was because he had been absent or because my stepfather and I didn't get along, the gift of that car gave birth to a sense of entitlement in me that took years to undo. I learned that if you're having a difficult time or need something someone will show up and give it to you. It was an unintended consequence of his generosity that nearly crippled me. Even though all he was doing was trying to demonstrate how much he loved me.
Unfortunately well meaning Christians have repeated this mistake over and over again for decades, if not centuries, in their attempt to share the love of Jesus Christ with people. It even has a name...benevolent oppression. Our desire to help the poor, the downtrodden and needy has often been reduced down to giving out money or clothing or food.
Now, please don't get me wrong. There are times when giving out these things might be the appropriate response. But those times are rare. Far more often it would be better to help people in ways that really help them and don't cripple them. I have personally met people who are otherwise capable, intelligent and able bodied who are literally sitting around waiting for the next donation of money, food or clothes. They have lost the capacity to even think of ways to care for themselves. They don't have any awareness of the resources God has blessed them with. All because loving, charitable Christians have given indiscriminately without thinking about the unintended consequences.
The time to correct this is long overdue. I am committed to helping the church see how foolish we have been in our charity and help set a new course that might some day reverse the damage that has been done to entire cultures around the world through our benevolent oppression!
1 comment:
When you're down and the way out seems murky, it's so tempting to find someone to "save" you. We had surprise, anonymous gifts that appeared just long enough to get through the truly desperate times.
But it was just as helpful to not get a handout when a little more energy or a little more faith was the answer.
We have seen numerous times that modest, anonymous donations can be an enormous boost to someone who is in the middle of the fight. But I agree that too much can build complacency and an expectation to be rescued at the expense of the satisfaction of taking a risk and building or re-building the skills of tackling life's challenges.
For us, faith in God's goodness and provision is almost always rewarded with a job, large or small; a result of looking for work and being willing to work. And it never comes on our time, but it's always enough and it always comes when we need it.
Good stuff, Tim.
Bryan
Post a Comment